Since when? Lose yourself?

How is it that we lose ourselves? One day, we look and we're just gone. Having had that happened and am working my way back to "self," I think, "I don't remember a catalyst to this change." It's a slow change, so be weary. If you're driving along and just notice that your old favorite music isn't appealing anymore, look at the bigger picture. Sounds crazy but, for me, that's how it manifests itself. What manifests itself? The change in self. Needless to say, I've found myself again. She wasn't that far away - I'm laughing and smiling again. I'm silly and strong.

In the word's of Eminem:
"Look, if you had one shot or one opportunity
To seize everything you ever wanted in one moment
Would you capture it or just let it slip?"

Take this attitude when it comes to self -- you're the only one you got. No one else is gonna do it for you.

Inspired by High Fidelity --- My Top Five Songs (Tonight)

1. The Joker -- Steve Miller Band
2. Dreams -- Otis Redding
3. You're the First, My Last, My Everything -- Barry White
4. Bittersweet - Big Head Todd and the Monsters
5. Kerosene -- Miranda Lambert

These five songs always make me smile. Today, I had The Joker stuck in my head and remembered fondly of driving around Franklin with Jared in his white Ford Mustang. The other four songs have memories to go along with each and that I know I will never forget. With Dreams and Bittersweet, I'll remember Sweet Williams flowers and a brick wall. Thinking back to the lyrics of both of the songs, I wonder, if I ever really knew the truth about the man behind those songs. I hope so. Barry ... Good ole Barry. I love this song and want a man to sing it to -- I thought I had that once but now I'm not too sure. Regardless of how it is now, I'll always remember the card that I gave him to listen to this song. And, Kerosene - Love it. I'm fire, just need some fuel. A song of empowerment that reminds me that I have boots and they will take me wherever I want to go.

*******
And just because I was inspired by the movie ... a funny quote:
"Should I bolt every time I get that feeling in my gut when I meet someone new? Well, I've been listening to my gut since I was 14 years old, and frankly speaking, I've come to the conclusion that my guts have shit for brains." - Rob (John Cusack)

So, I love my daughter .... BUT

I cannot stand to spend 24/7 with her... And, I am sure if she could speak more words, she would second my opinion.

Here's the situation:
Little Isabel has RSV (a respiratory virus) and it's horrible. Since it's viral, her mummie and daddie can't do anything about it (and there's no real medicine to help it). When she's sick, daycare is off limits. Here's the part that I hate almost as much. This means that either mummie or daddie stay home with her, all day long. And, in this particular situation, it is now Wednesday and I will be staying with her, 24/7 for the next five days.

How will I keep my sanity? Now, I love my daughter, but I can imagine that the next several days will drive me nuts. I would do anything for her, but this is really pushing it. This is one of the worst things about parenting... I can handle the physical sickness, but being stuck with her all day is tough (to say the least). Here's the thing: she's a doll, even when completely healthy. So, what's my problem?

I am one of those mothers who knows that I am a better mummie when I have time away from her. I stayed home with her the first five months of her life, only removing myself from it for a short weekend getaway. It was great. But now, I'm wishing I had a nanny who could just give me a break so that I could go to work or school only to return as Super Mom, not over-tired, stressed-out, short with her temper Mom.

Here's to hoping that she gets better soon -- for both of our sakes.
:)

My thoughts....

Things that I like	Things that I don't like	Reasoning	Suggestion
Portable Booster seat	High chair	Unnecessary -- there are booster type chairs that you can use that are portable and cheap. High chairs take up a large area and are expensive.	http://www.walmart.com/catalog/product.do?product_id=2626212
Baby Sponge	Baby Tub	Not a separate tub for bathing, but a cushion for bathing. Extra space and expense not needed.	http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=2390251
Baby Monitor		Necessity -- like the ones with lights and sound, plus non-battery operated receivers	http://www.fisher-price.com/fp.aspx?st=2002&e=product&pid=44289
Pack n Play	Basinet	Good for travel and/or camping if you want to try having a baby in the master bedroom; not a fan of the basinet simply because they grow out of it so quickly
Amazon.com		Diapers can be bought in bulk, slightly cheaper than from the store, plus free shipping. so, even if you don't save money, they "magically" arrive at the house
	Receiving blankets	Most of them are too, too small to swaddle -- okay for burp cloths. You will end up with way more than you will use... HOWEVER, there is an exception: see link (notice dimensions) -- love these!	http://www.target.com/gp/detail.html/sr=/qid=/ref=br_1_br_1_11/601-6199570-4629748?ie=UTF8&node=13698611&frombrowse=1&asin=B000GG0A9O&rh=&page=1
Bumbo		great little chair - can use for feeding but also getting the baby a different view; we never bought one because the daycare had one, but our daughter loved it	http://www.amazon.com/Bumbo-Baby-Sitter-%252d-Blue/dp/B0010SZZJC/ref=pd_bbs_sr_4?ie=UTF8&s=baby-products&qid=1223002726&sr=8-4
	Bouncer	Doesn't do anything for the baby except serve as an alternative to a crib	http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=2749879
Boppy		Useful when baby gets bigger -- helps with hands-free feeding and to teach them to sit up
Swing		MUST HAVE! change of scenery -- easy for baby to fall asleep in when fussy and easy for you when baby is getting fussy	http://www.fisher-price.com/fp.aspx?st=2002&e=product&pid=44276
	Pacifiers	Unnecessary -- you can soothe you baby in other ways; besides, I feel like if you use a pacifier, then the baby doesn't learn to self-soothe (my two cents)
	Bedding sets	Overpriced and unnecessary; Cannot change the sheets easily anyway. blanket is un-useable and is the bumper (or you're not supposed to use one), but i like them because it gives the baby a more cocoon like atmosphere
Towels	Burp Clothes	Thicker than blankets, super-good for spit/throw ups, blow-outs, etc.
	Diaper Bag	you can get away with something way smaller than what was out there; plus, you can use bags that aren't "diaper bags;" my favorite was the free one that we got in the mail from Similac
Double pump		timesaver and super-useful (store up before daycare AND helps force your milk in, otherwise, very painful); I used a single and a double but prefer the double	http://www.target.com/gp/detail.html/ref=sc_pgc_r_12_1_1038590/601-6199570-4629748?ie=UTF8&frombrowse=1&asin=B0011E5LYE
Dr. Brown's BPA free bottles		sturdy and easy for my baby to transition back and forth, even in the early, early days
Play Mat		great for the early months when you want to stimulate baby but either need a break or are unsure of what to do, plus, it folds up easily and you can store it out of site	http://www.tinylove.com/toy.aspx?toyId=46
Exersaucer	Exersaucer (non-compactable)	Fun, but baby has to be in the mood, and it takes up a lot of space. they might say that they are compactable but not really	http://www.walmart.com/catalog/product.do?product_id=2693384&sourceid=1500000000000003260330&ci_src=14110944&ci_sku=2693384
Cheap, good clothes		The Children's Place is the best value for new clothes -- I bought stuff last year for this year's Halloween, xmas, etc. Target is good for staple clothing and Macy’s is good for special clothes, and there is always a sale. Buy up now while you can pace yourself and get GREAT deals	http://www.childrensplace.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/Home?storeId=10001&langId=-1&catalogId=10001
College Saving - Upromise		Enter your CC and shopper card information and you earn cash back, especially on internet purchases, to go towards college expenses only. Can open before baby! same as a 529 plan (Google 529 Colorado)	www.upromise.com, http://www.forbes.com/2005/02/10/cx_sr_0210collegesavings.html, or www.collegeinvest.org
Robeez		expensive shoes but really helpful in keeping socks on as they get older -- not that necessary in the beginning but once you start going out often, a must have; can get them cheaper on Amazon.com
Itzbeen timer		great clock and tracking tool when you have no idea when you last feed the baby or how long they slept -- downside: can't record amounts of food or types of diapers	http://shop.mbeans.com/istar.asp?a=6&id=WD68-GREEN!ITZBE
Book: Be Prepared: A Practical Handbook for New Dads		Awesome. Practical. Fun. cute read for mom and dad
Book: Belly Laughs		by Jenny McCarthy -- fun and you'll need a laugh while pregnant (most days) – nothing about autism

Baby Shower Gift Suggestions

As everyone knows, baby showers, even with a registry, can be quite difficult to show for. Below are a couple of easy suggestions that I did not register for, but loved nevertheless.


$10 - Carter's Sleep Sack - super easy pajamas for the infant baby; works especially well while changing diapers and clothes (cheaper in stores than online)
http://bestbabyshower.stores.yahoo.net/carter-s-holiday-sleep-sack-bags---pink---blue.html

$25 - Itzbeen - electronic timer easily helps you track sleeping, eating, pooping, and medicating. I loved this when I was sleep deprived and could not think straight, but I could press a button!
http://www.amazon.com/Coast-Innovations-Itzbeen-Baby-Timer/dp/B000MEB3GE

$25 - HUGE receiving blanket - these are expensive but totally worth it (they work really well). I've never had any baby de-swaddle themselves.
http://www.amazon.com/SwaddleDesigns-Ultimate-Receiving-Blanket-Polka/dp/B000A7S52S

$30 - Fleece Weather protector for infant car seat -- really useful if they will spend a lot of time outdoors and you don't want to bundle the baby up. And by useful, I mean you will be using it in any season, not just for winter.
http://www.amazon.com/Kiddopotamus-PoshPouch-Premium-Carrier-Graphite/dp/B000TVTBP0/ref=sr_1_12?ie=UTF8&s=baby-products&qid=1227221965&sr=1-12

Always carry around a white t-shirt

If I were you, I would always have an extra white t-shirt hanging around -- in the diaper bag, in the car, in his car, at your mother's house, etc. Why? Having a sister with two kids, you might already know but it's the "just in case shirt."

Just in case your baby spits up:
- a simple white t-shirt goes with anything (for mom or dad).
- you have an extra burp rag.
- you have a simple, albeit big, dress for baby (in case you forgot to put extra clothes in the diaper bag).

Just in case it gets cold, you have an extra blanket - it always gets cold when you least expect it.

Just in case it gets sunny, you have a light, cool sun shade.

Just in case your baby blows out her diaper and you forgot to re-stock the diaper bag = emergency diaper (along with a sock for a little extra leak protection).

I am sure that there are many more uses, but these are just several of my favorites. Add your own!

Why I Don't Like the Diaper Genie

1. You have to buy the special bags.
2. The spinning of the "special" bags does not produce "sausage links" but a big mess instead.
3. You have to use two hands.

The Diaper Champ is WAY cooler.

Why? Because I have one. Ha ha. So, I chose the Diaper Champ because:
1. You do not have to buy special bags -- I found that Target's bags worked the best because they have a little big a stretch versus the traditional plastic grocery bag. (And, you can recycle!)
2. It holds about one to one and half week's worth of diapers and they are easy to get out of the cylinder.
3. You can use one hand.
4. You have two colors to choose from - I chose blue simply because it was more gender neutral.

Con:
Sometimes it gets a little stuck SOMETIMES when flipping over the lid part - you'll see what
I mean - so you have to be careful when it comes to packaging up the diaper. I prefer to put all wipes, etc. into the diaper and then wrap in up in a tight package: prevents leakage, smell, and is portable. If you do not pre-package your diaper or try to dispose of a single wipe, it will get stuck... Hence, all the complaints on Amazon.com.

If you don't put up a fight,
and wind your diaper up tight,
you just might,
end up with a fright(ful mess).

Summary?
There are going to be problems no matter what method of disposal you use, unless you take each and every wipe and diaper to the trash can in the garage. I promise that it will be better than a regular pail and the Diaper Genie, if only for the simple fact that you can recycle your grocery bags.

TIP: Lemon and coffee are natural deodorizers.